Nothing to ask, just a quick word of appreciation. You sir/madamme, are a genious.
Why, thank you.
Happy Independence Day, Finland.
9 day weather forecast in Finland.
How to Spot a Traveling Finn 101
Here is a friendly, cheerful guide for all you Finnwatchers out there. Whether you’re trying to identify a wandering drunk or deciding on where you should not go this summer, this is the manual for you!
For a quick and easy identification, we’ll give you four main qualities you should look for in a traveling Finn. Remember, this applies to foreign countries only. Or, if you’re from Turku or Tampere, the rest of the world.
Alcohol is a Finn’s best friend
The fastest way to identify a Finn out in the world is to estimate their current state of drunkenness. If the subject is moderately or highly intoxicated and it’s less than 5pm, there’s almost a 100% chance they’re Finnish. Also, if you’re on a cruise and see someone dragging a pallet full of bottle crates behind them, you already know who they are. If you’re unsure about the person’s nationality, just yell ”vitun homo” while they’re passing you. A reaction is guaranteed.
Häv a guut dei, tänk juu veri mats
The Finnish accent is usually very distinguishable. English is taught in all Finnish primary schools since third grade, and most of us actually speak it relatively well, but our pronunciation isn’t the best. This is true for nearly all Finns; for the more linguistic people the difference is a bit more subtle and some might sound almost neutral, but the accent sticks even to the most skilled speakers of us all. You’ll hear it soon enough.
PERTTI JUMALAUTA NYT TÄNNE
This applies especially to traveling families or groups. Finns often like to talk in their native tongue when visiting foreign countries. There’s nothing strange about this, of course, but we tend to act more freely when we’re sure no one else can understand us. Even the reserved, quiet Finns become loud and obnoxious once they set their foot behind their country’s legalized border.
This effect has a name, the so-called ”junttikupla” (or ”moron bubble” for those of you who don’t understand our gibberish). It’s a term for that isolated, bubble-like feeling you get when you’re in a foreign land and know (or think) other people can’t understand you. The effect usually results to loud yelling over the streets, tables and counters, often in some kind of Finnish dialect. It also gives you an isolated feeling, where you think others find your idiotic behavior normal or amusing, and consider it your birth right to criticize other people’s looks or other attributes while thinking they don’t know what you’re saying. Newsflash, dickheads, if you’re talking loudly whilst looking (and sometimes even pointing) at someone, they usually know you’re talking about them, even if it’s in a weird, blabbering language.
Location, location, location
There are two places in the world Finns love to populate during the holidays. The first one is Canary Islands, particularly the ‘all in one’ hotels where all you have to do is pay a certain amount of money and lie down on your ass for a week. Canary Islands are mostly enjoyed by Finnish families, but you can also run into some drunken asshats if you really look for them.
The second one is, of course, Tallinn. Although it’s the capital of Estonia, Finns have succesfully turned it into their personal year-round boozefest. The weekend cruises to Tallinn are short (only 2 hours) and cheap, which makes them inherently popular. Also the alcohol and tobacco is low-priced, though it doesn’t take a math genius to find out that buying all your drinks from Estonia all year long isn’t the best financial decision you could make.
For those wondering if we take cruises to Stockholm – no, we don’t. Mostly because they’re more expensive, partly because of the rivalry between our countries (or the general attitude problem some Finns seem to have, phrase it how you like). You see, Finland has more jokes about Swedes than the inhabitants of Turku, and that’s a lot (despite the fact we were a part of Sweden for over 600 years and large portions of our cultural inheritance comes from them, but hey, who cares about history when you have hockey and liquor!)
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There. We hope this helped you in your crusade.